Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Instructions for Life

01. Give people more than they expect, and do it cheerfully.
02. Memorize your favorite poem.
03. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
04. When you say "I love you" - mean it.
05. When you say "I'm sorry" look the person in the eye.
06. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
07. Believe in love at first sight.
08. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
09. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mom.
16. Say "Bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

How to check and stop automatic mail send by virus through email program

Here's a computer trick today that's very important and ingenious in its simplicity.

As you may know, when/if a worm virus
gets into your computer it heads straight for
your email address book and sends itself to everyone in there, thus infecting all your
friends and associates.

This trick won't keep the virus from getting
into your computer, but it will stop it from
using your address book to spread further,
and it will alert you to the fact that the worm attacked your system.

Here's what you do:

first, open your address book and click on
"new contact" just as you would do if you were adding a new friend to your list of email addresses.

In the window where you would type your friend's first name, type in !000 (that's an exclamation mark followed by 3 zeros).

In the window below where it prompts you to enter the new email address, type in "WormAlert," which of course, isn't a real email address. Then
complete everything by clicking add, enter, ok, etc.

Now, here's what you've done and why it works: the "name" !000 will be placed at the top of your address book as entry #1.

This will be where the worm will start in an effort to send itself to all your friends. But when it tries to send itself to !000, it will be undeliverable because of the phony email address you enter (WormAlert).

If the first attempt fails (which it will because of the phony address), the worm goes no further and your contacts will not be infected.

Here's the second great advantage of this method: if an email cannot be delivered, you will be notified of this in your Inbox almost immediately.

Hence, if you ever get an email telling you that an email addressed to WormAlert could not be delivered, you know right away that you have the worm virus in your system. You can then take steps to get rid of it!

Thought this was worthwhile since cyber
terrorism may be on the rise...

Please pass it on. If everyone would do this,
no one would be able to spread viruses .

AUR BATAO

Guess we all r suffering frm it..

Conversation between 2 Orkut Friends:

fr1---hello
fr2---hi

fr1---hey h r u???
fr2---m fine!!! Wht abt u???

fr1---m fine too
fr2---cool

fr1---so howz life???
fr2--gud

fr1--hmmmm

fr1--aur batao? ( passing the ball to the other side)
fr2--hmmm everything as usual

fr2--so wht else???
fr1--nothing much

fr2--ok
fr2--aur batao? ( passing the ball to the other side)

And it goes on like this untill they give up

Are u also having such conversation with ur frnds, then u r
also
suffering from "aur batao syndrome" It means ur life is all screwed up
following the usual monotonous routine.

Probably u need a change in ur life something which is
exciting,something which is adventurous, something which really makes u
feel gud

Correct????

yeh sab to thik hai ab

AUR BATAO

Monday, March 12, 2007

Enough is Enough

An old lady tottered into a lawyer's office and asked for help in arranging a divorce. "A divorce?" asked the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?"

"I'm eighty-four," answered the old lady.

"Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?"

"My husband is eighty-seven."

"My, my," said the lawyer, "And how long have you been married?"

"Next September we will complete sixty-two years."

"Married for sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?"

"Because," the woman answered calmly, "enough is enough."

Funny Quotes

In every pain there is tremendous opportunity for overwhelming
gain! Use it to your advantage!
-------------
Kent Nelson

" To err is human, to forgive divine."
-------------
Alexander Pope

" Make your own destiny, Don't wait for it to come to you,
Life is not a rehearsal!"
-------------
Source Unknown

" Life is like a piano --- what you get out of it,
Depends on how you play it."
-------------
Source Unknown

" To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream.
Not only plan, but also believe."
-------------
Anatole France

" Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's
dreams."
-------------
Source Unknown

" No matter what a man's past may have been, his future is
spotless."
-------------
John R. Rice

" Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."
-------------
Confucius

" A person's face may change over a lifetime,
But their heart can stay true forever."
-------------
Source Unknown

" If you think positive, you can move a mountain in no time."
-------------
Source Unknown

" No love, no friendship
Can cross the path of our destiny
Without leaving some mark on it forever."
-------------
Francois Mauriac

"My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said,
"How about Tuesday?"
-------------
Buddy Hackett

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it
doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
-------------
Mickey Rooney

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for
marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-------------
Rita Rudner

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the
other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
-------------
Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-------------
Rodney Dangerfield

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat
in Europe.
-------------
Jackie Mason

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.
-------------
Mike Myers

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-------------
Michel de Montaigne


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-------------
Hemant Joshi

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring,
and suffering.
-------------
Anonymous

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to
own one.
-------------
W.C. Fields

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at
a cat one time...they're gone.
-------------
Lenny Bruce

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to
'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
-------------
Rodney Dangerfield

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were
exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
-------------
Groucho Marx

At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I
wanted all my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.'
-------------
Mark Klein


Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup
truck, and end up with a station wagon.
-------------
Tim Allen

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many
women very happy?
-------------
Benny Hill


I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,
'Thyroid problem?'
-------------
Emo Philips

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
-------------
Les Dawson

A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's
nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
-------------
Rodney Dangerfield

Saturday, March 10, 2007

HONESTY IS STILL THE BEST POLICY

Once a general manager wanted to test his people who had come from all over India, about their values of life.

He announced that in their seminar folder, there is PVC pouch and in it there is a seed. When they return , they must put it in a good soil in a pot and look after it very well.

He would hold a competition in the next year's seminar and that the best plants would be awarded suitably.

Everyone did what was told to him. A year passed quickly. And next year in a big hall, there were hundreds of pots and a great variety of plants-a great scene.

Except one pot in which the soil was there and no plant! The owner was standing quietly and seemingly ashamed of himself!

The general manager called him on the stage. He asked him what happened and he told him the truth. He planted the seed which he was given – and did that was to be done- but nothing happened!

The general manager declared him the winner!

Everyone was shocked. It was announced, "Gentlemen! The seeds I gave you were boiled seeds. You planted them and nothing happened! You acted smartly and used some other seeds.

This man was honest to his work and, therefore he did not cheat me or himself!"

Friendship, the most precious harmony

When the clouds cover the blue sky
And the light has difficulties to shimmer through
When you are brought back to yourself
and consider in what to do


When the rain flushes you down
When the water makes you almost to drown


When the blanket of darkness wraps you so, that you cannot breath anymore
When you hold down your head,
and can not see the sky


When your tears trouble your sight


then it is so good to know
that there is always your shoulder
Where I can lean on, without having to ask you please
Then my tears come, and the lonelyness end
I need no words
because I know
that I love you, my dear friend


I lean on you, and soon my head will rise
To see in the darkest night
that little sparkling light
It is a star
So far
but shining on you, and me
Friendship, the most precious harmony


Know that I am there, when you kneed it my friend
ah well, needless to say
Just like you are there for me
just like that
I pick you up, before you have bend

Friday, March 09, 2007

PISCES MAN & WOMEN

PISCES MAN

He is very emotional and always allow himself to be very emotional. He can have a good night sleep and be in a good mood, and less than few hours at work he can be very moody. He does not understand things or try to understand things easily. If you notice him carefully, you will notice what kind of moods he is in.

He is a thinker and able to do well at work and always succeed. His normal gestures mean he always look at other people faults, but he will not talk about it. He has the ability to know your thought and able to tell you what you are thinking about.

He can mostly memorize all his anger, his loves. They are his important secrets and he will keep them to himself and will never let you know. He is not a very ambition man and careless about his position in society. Wealth does not drawn his attention, because he is not greedy man and as well he thinks money is not something that will last. He could be very careless about his future. He does not like to fight against all odds, but instead following the stream and make life easier. Sometimes because he likes to take an easy path, which cause him very unsteady future.

He is kind and slightly lazy, but it is his cute character. He hates rules and regulations. He will never look down on people. He is a polite guy and can be very aggressive when he is mad. He loves to think that he lives in a beautiful world and surround by nice people, so if he finds his world is cruel and not what he expects, he will live in his world instead.

His other charm is that he is a funny guy, and it is his real weapon. He can tease you and yet make it looks like one of his joke. Even when he is sad, he still has that funny face, so you could hardly tell if he is mad or depress. He likes to hide his feeling and help other people especially those who need friend or lonely.

He will be everything that you want and everything you do not want. He has a chance to make it as much as a chance to fail. He can determine to make it work and can do it well, except he tends to lost his energy with other important things, that's how he miss many of his good opportunity.

He can be happy and content by himself. What he think is important is not "Love" ,but firm status and stability. He has plenty of love for you.

He is a good speaker, as much as he is a good listener. When he is with you, he wants to be happy. He understand his partner's emotional. He likes to take a long rest and sometimes being alone. If he needs to be alone, try not to disturb him.

He is a sensitive, quiet , shy and easily hurt. He wants to feel worthy. He can be mad and noisy, but once he calm down, he will be that happy person again. He is not a jealous or possessive guy, and if he feels jealous he will hide it. He has many friends of both sex, and he care about his friends. He likes to have lots of friends, so you can not get jealous or else you will loose him. He likes beautiful things, so if a pretty woman walk by he will look ,so do not get mad at him knowing this fact.

When he is lonely or feeling sad, be close to comfort him. He does not like to take advice,so if you want him to listen or to follow your advice, you have to act as a good sample for him first. He likes a cheery and a smart woman. If you treat him like he is your special person, then he will be that special person for you. He will trust you if he is in love, but try not to over doing it and spoil him too much. You have to know yourself worth all the time too.

PISCES WOMAN

She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality. She is weak and sensitive when it's come to "Love". She can cry if her best friend is breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boy friend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in love. More or less it will be in Pisces woman. She loves small animal and gifted in training animals.

She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her nature. Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her own choice of lover. She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one night stand guy.

She likes to buy and pick her own cloths. She likes to dress cute and be cute. Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin. Her hands and feet are small and soft. Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes as if she collects them. She is a hot lady that everyone wants her. Whether she has a man in her life or not , she will never try to over powered any man. It's not even in her thought.

She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that way. She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy. She is a confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy. She knows how to please and how to comfort a man. If something is wrong, she will try to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now. She is happy with you for what you are now.

A Pisces woman , if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and it will make her a very unhappy person. She will pity herself and feel sorry for herself. She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you can never tell which path she going to take. If you love her , then hold her tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do next.

A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not hurt anyone, then you are wrong. You might think she is a fragile person who needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie. She is a dreamer and love the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well.

Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman. She can be a total different person before and after. She can be an angle before and later a witch, but everyone is not perfect, right? She will be soft and gentle most of the time, so not to worry. She is emotional and extremely sensitive when she frequently got hurt. She is the type who can cry her heart out.

She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone. She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness from her enemy. She does not like to follow any fixed rules. She can be a good housewife if you know how to handle her.

Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to be sweet, she is a real angles.

Love, Wealth and Success

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in"

" We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest ."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !!!!!!"

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Tongue Twisters

Let's Twist Our Tongues!!!

Lets see if you can repeat them 5 times in a row without having a slip of your tongue! Its Funny!

If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow what a fellow means?"

Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

She sells sea shells on the sea shore, but the sea shells that she sells, on the sea shore are not the real ones.

The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue!

If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

GOD

Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn't.
Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice

chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big
fish, he threw it back.

The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired
of seeing the man waste good fish. "Why do you keep throwing back all the
big fish you catch?" he asked.

The inexperienced fisherman replied, "I only have a small frying pan."

Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throwback the big plans, big dreams, big
jobs, big opportunities that God gives us. Our faith is too small.

We laugh at that fisherman who didn't figure out that all he needed was a
bigger frying pan, yet how ready are we to increase the size of our faith?

Whether it's a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything
bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything

God brings our way.

You can do all things through God. Nothing is too big for God.

Rhyming Couplets

A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.


My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not


I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face


I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming


My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

Remember Me

When life's a struggle
And the world gets you down
Just remember the one
Who turned your life around

When you think no one cares
And no one could understand
He will be here waiting
Just to hold your hand

When you feel so neglected
And you feel so alone
You feel so unwanted
In every fiber of your bones

Remember the one
Who told you he cared
The one who promised you
To hold you when your scared

Remember the times
That you cried together
And somehow just doing that
Made everything seem better

So if tomorrow morning you wake up
And the darkness doesn't let you see
Just Remember the one who loved you
Just Remember Me